Laughter is good for the soul!

Okay. So call me weird. I love to laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah....everyone loves to laugh. But?

I love to laugh at other peoples pain. Mostly other GUYS pain. I am a total sadistic man hater.

No I don't actually hate men. I love men. I just don't want one living around my house and telling me what I can and cannot do or what I can and cannot have. Men do that to me. A LOT. So I have horses instead.

Horses work for me. Why you ask? Well, here is my list:

#1:     They never complain about what I fix for dinner. Never once in all the years I have had horses has one of them looked at me when I came into the barn and said, "WHAT?! HAY for dinner AGAIN???"

#2:     They actually LIKE to sleep in the barn. Therefore, I don't have to share my closet.

#3.     If all the time I have to give them this week is one hour on Saturday, they don't mind at all. (Try that with a guy.)

#4:     They don't mind wearing pink or purple or any combination of the two. (My fave colors!)

#5:     They nicker at me when they see me come home. Not wolf whistle or be gross. They are just happy to see me.

#6:     They never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give me a difficult time no matter how much money I spend on myself or on them.

So yeah. I love having horses and laughing at men. I am sharing my latest find on YouTube for your enjoyment. Laughter at a man's expense.

Fa la la la la....get me out of here

Oh my head hurts.

Christmas and every blogger and vlogger has their Christmas tree decorating video up already. Me? I am just happy to make it to November alive. Maybe not well, but at least alive.

I was working with a patient yesterday whose Mommy had strep throat. Sooooo guess what? I have a sore throat tonight. My head is about to explode in pain and I am as cranky as one can get.

This afternoon I spent crying while sitting on Vanna's grave site. Buddy and Lizzie and Maximoose were so worried and right there beside me. I couldn't figure out why I was in such a bad and sad mood. Now with my throat being sore, I've a pretty good idea of what was going on.

I spent this evening watching YouTube videos on Christmas decorations. Some from this year and some from years past. I cannot believe these vloggers. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE uses the same voice. Well cadence anyways. The inflection of their narrative is exactly the same and I absolutely abhor the cheeriness and 'cuteness' factor they use when delivering their stories about how they did this and did that. Every. Single. One. I almost barfed.

Everyone changing colors in decor and adding this and taking away that. I almost threw my shoe through my Smart TV which is one thing I truly love in my home. I don't know how I would live without that thing now-a-days.

 

(My apparently boring tree)

I must really be sick for me to even THINK that.

So between getting sick to my stomach over the saccharine sweetness of stupid narratives and my head exploding, I figured out what I would like to do for my Christmas decorating. Not that I can afford to change much this year, what with the change in jobs and building up a decent caseload of patients, but I did get some inexpensive ideas by traveling back and forth between YouTube and Pinterest. I even had some ideas of my very own.

Now if only I can get motivated to DO anything.

Did I mention I don't feel well? Yeah. That too.

Finally found my theme song!

Yep. This guy nailed it!

Me. Totally ME.

Big M....Little m....what begins with Mm???

Remember that book?

You know. Dr Seuss's ABCs. The one that you memorized when you were a kid because the rhymes were fun and the pictures fanciful and your imagination went wild.

Big M....Little m....What begins with M?
              Many mumbling MICE.
                        Making midnight music in the moonlight.
                                      Mighty nice!

Unless they are making midnight music in your kitchen, that is. Dr. Seuss forgot to MENTION that. (Mention for M, get it?!)

So last week, my refrigerator died. It did that whilst I was not at home. It stunk up the house by the time I returned, so after emptying the contents into the trash, out it went to sit on the porch until I get it cleaned and rid of the electronics. Then it shall be used, placed on it's back for containing the grain which I feed my horses. I needed something impenetrable by the rodent population and I think this will be it.

There was a RAT hole under the fridge. GROSS and SHUDDERS! But at least I know where these varments are getting in now. Plugged that hole and cleaned. And cleaned. And cleaned some more. Of course my kitchen, after working 7 full months at a 12 to 18 hour a day job, 7 days a week, looked like a bomb had exploded in it. Quite forgotten until I ran out of forks or glasses and then begrudgingly, I would wash dishes. I think the only thing that got done on a regular basis was taking the trash out, but in reality, that did little to improve the quality of cleanliness so missing in my little home. No wonder he felt like he could move in and stay awhile.

But mind you, this was not that CUTE rat with the teddy bear that surfs the internet. This was an ugly pack rat that kept stealing my forks, ( I KNEW I hadn't used that many forks!),  the lids to my jars, my avocados if I left them on the counter. He even moved plastic storage containers in the bottom cabinet. He left evidence in that bottom cabinet as well as under that dead fridge. No wonder my cats sit in front of the fridge and stare at it all day.

Once I got everything cleaned and plugged, I was pretty pleased. But upon rising the next morning, there it was. Mouse doodoos. ON MY COUNTER.

Now I love Beatrix Potter and all her fanciful characters, but this is no Hunka Munka sweeping clean with a tiny broom! This is a messy little creature that has no consideration for anyone's property. I don't think I would mind a Beatrix Potter mouse, but noooooo.....I get the unemployed, unmotivated, Joe's apartment type visitor who simply doesn't want to leave. My cats are useless wienies.

So I put out snap traps. And that little thing cleaned the mechanism spotless and failed the snap to trap. wtf??? Soooooo....I got sticky traps. Loaded the center with peanut butter. Totally new to this type of trap. Have never used it before. And I have news for you. I will not ever use it again. Have you ever heard a little mousie scream? At 11:30 at night?

It is a horror movie right there. In your own kitchen.

I find this little creature with his/her backside glued to the trap and the front end desperately pulling on the counter and trying to run with the trap hanging on its bombasitty. Poor thing! So here I am in my PJs in freezing weather, with a screaming mousie butt glued to a sticky trap in one hand and a bottle of olive oil in the other, standing outside in my bare feet and no coat. Pouring olive oil on the trap to disengage that poor screaming mousie from this awful ordeal!

It wouldn't come off. Even with a shake. And I might have a tender heart, but it only goes so far. Especially when I am standing barefoot in 28* weather, with no coat on, wind blowing through my PJs and I am shivering worse than Jack in Titanic. So I place the trap by the goat and pig barn with an oily mousie and leave it there. If it works, fine. The little guy is saved. If not, then at least I will not likely hear mousie screams all night long.

In the morning, after cleaning and bleaching and cleaning and bleaching the counter top, I skip outside to find that little guy was gone. I can only assume that he got off the trap. If something had tried to EAT him, that sticky trap would be glued to someones nose and would not be there.

Two nights later? THERE IS MOUSE DOODOO ON MY COUNTER!!! Heeeee's baaack!!! And to beat all, the peanut butter is gone from the sticky traps. That little guy was probably so oily he just slickly walked across all of those traps and had a feast.

I should have just....I can't even bring myself to say it. The only thing I kill easily are flies.

I loaded more traps. Both snappy and sticky. I don't care HOW I get rid of it, but it will be gotten rid of. I even looked on YouTube and found THIS idea.....

This person left the bottom dry and let the mousies he caught go. All I can say is, "Been there! Done that!" And I am not doing that again. I am filling my bucket half full of water and hope that little mouse is not wearing a life jacket. Cruel and unusual punishment, I know. But better than having them on your counter and leaving their evidence behind.

I can't believe I am doing this. Farm girl be danged. I just hate killing things if I don't have to. I will probably have nightmares for YEARS remembering that terrified little mouse with his buttinski stuck to that glue board. Best to just do him in and get it over with.

Who am I trying to convince? If I find him drowning, I will most likely let him go again. I hope he gets dead real quick.

Beatrix Potter and Dr. Seuss are rolling in their graves right now. I am just SURE of it.

Slowing down....waaaay down!

My life is really busy. Well, let me rephrase that. I MAKE my life really busy. I just like being occupied and to be truthful, even when I am not working at a workplace, I am busy. Running a small farm and trying to get a home based business up and running, is more than enough to keep me busy.

But I realized this past month how disjointed I am when not working a 9 to 5 job so to speak. It has been a real eye opener for me. Problem is, as observant as I am in some things, it has taken me a MONTH to actually get it together and REALIZE it is okay to not be doing a basic 9 to 5 job.

When I gave my notice at my "9 to 5" job, (that was really a 12 to 18 hours a day job), I didn't have another to immediately step in to. As a matter of fact, the day before my very last day at work, I finally made a call to the company I am now working with. Working with medicare in a Skilled Nursing Facility, or SNF as they are referred to, is a LOT different than working with a home health agency that works with Autistic children. The timeline is different and there are penalties if you don't make those time lines in the SNF. In this particular home health situation, it can take awhile before everything gels correctly and you actually get the patient on your case load. And you are not penalized for that sort of a deadline, a lot of the scheduling is directed by the parents and how quickly they get on board with the Plan Of Care. During the time that I was working 12 to 18 hours a day, I would get home, complete what I needed to do with my animals and then collapse. Cleaning house or doing laundry was relegated to  the "You are out of forks and underwear so you need to do something" files.

And therein lies my problem. I don't know how to stop running at top speed. Or at least CHANGE that focus from running top speed at my job to running at top speed at my home. And I did not realize how EXHAUSTED my poor little body and mind were keeping up that crazy schedule!

Yesterday, for the first time, I finally relaxed and let God take over and do His thing. I don't know why I stress so! He has never let me down and all things that happen to me, let me stress that, ALL THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO ME, happen once they have been sifted through HIS fingers of love. Perhaps I was headed for a stroke or heart attack and that was why He slowed me down in this manner.

I had ONE patient yesterday in a town an hour away. Oh there are more patients in the area, but there again, it takes time before those kiddos will actually wind up on my schedule. This child was an absolute delight and the hour I spent with her sped by quickly and I faced the hour long drive BACK to my little town.

My little town, Kingman, Arizona is what one would refer to as "Podunk". Podunk USA. Redneck USA. If you don't drive a beat up pick truck, have a rebel flag either flying from the bed of your truck or posted somewhere else and listen to country music or rap, you are considered odd at the least. And though I LOVE living here, still the one thing I truly miss is the shopping. We have a Wal-Mart, (K-Mart and Sears closed last year) 2 Safeways, a Maurices and a Ross Dress for less, along with a multitude of thrift stores that you most likely don't want to shop at because you KNOW what your neighbors have and you don't WANT it in your house. So getting out of Kingman every now and again is good for my Gypsy Soul. I miss traveling. This job fits me just fine, causing me to leave my little bubble and get out once again to SEE.

They have a Hobby Lobby in Bullhead City where I was yesterday! And THIS is what God used to make me realize that not only is it OKAY to slow down, I NEEDED to slow down!

OH how I miss Hobby Lobby! Even if all you do is hang for awhile and gather ideas and get your creative juices flowing again, it is totally worth going to Hobby Lobby! And so I did.

They are gearing up for Christmas, Thanksgiving is in full swing and Halloween/Fall is waning but still with plenty of stuff on sale in that holiday. Oh. My. The Christmas ornaments had yet to be picked through and I was enthralled!

Aisle upon aisle of sugar plums and Santa's and Nativity Scenes! I love Christmas! For me, Halloween and Thanksgiving are wonderful, but Christmas? That is in a league all by itself. I LOVE Christmas and have a child-like wonder in all things Christmas. I love the decorating of my home when it comes!

The past few years, I have focused on getting a core of Christmas decorations together and for that base color scheme, I chose the colors of pink, champagne, white, silver and pale gold. They had an entire section of those colors alone!

The whimsy of dolls and baubles from tennis shoes to unicorns was simply amazing in their amount of imagination.

There was a particular Cinderella's pumpkin carriage I especially loved, although it was in bright orange. Love orange for fall, but that color is not for my Christmas decorations! Once I find it in silver or gold, then we shall consider it for my tree.

But seeing all of this, this year, I plan on adding another color or two to my decorations. I have already come home, whipped out that computer like a fast draw gunman and saved several possibilities. I LOVE color and it is time to begin embracing who I am and what I love for my home again. It has been too long living in the swamp land of 12 to 18 hours a day jobs, missing the fact that my home no longer holds the laughter of children, and not having time enough for my animal family and gardens.

And leave it to my Heavenly Father, to not only slow me down, but give to me a job that will be less time, will be spent in the company of children, and with a great deal more compensation in the monetary part of the equation. WOW.

So here is to slowing down. Taking the time to smell the horses. Laughing with my new children. Gardening and decorating my home.

All thanks to my AWESOME God.

Purple door and no one cares

We are supposed to be doing important things with our lives. Making changes. Helping others. But...

The past 2 months I've been in a stalled mode. Not moving forward. Forced to wait while others do their jobs so that I can do mine. Frustrating for sure and for certain. I am not one to wait well. What is that old saying? "Idle hands are the devils workshop"? And it is not like I don't have things I couldn't accomplish right now, the problem is? I am in a stalled mode.

Finally roused my asstibula to do SOMETHING. And this is what I did..........

YES. I always paint my front door purple. There are lots of ideas and theories about why weird people paint their doors purple in this world. Some say it is a regal color and signifies ROYALTY. Warm and inviting. Some people even believe that it signifies a WITCH lives in that house. That doesn't count for me unless you are counting my foul mood. Even then you would need to change that W to a B for it to fit me today. I just happen to like this shade of purple so I paint my front doors with it. It doesn't always go with the color of the house I am living in but I don't really give a rats behind. But yes. I will eventually paint the house too.  I WILL need to change the door hardware eventually also. Right now it is 1980's bright gold and looks odd. Anyways, I love the copper detailing I did to this door.

Unfortunately detailing means taping and actually being careful and steady with your paint brush. Which I was not in the mood for but did anyway. I loved this so much that I had a little light bulb over my head that pinged and said, "Why do just your FRONT door? WHY not do your BACK DOOR too? So I did. But that meant extra taping on not just one but TWO doors, because they are French doors.

I did one door at a time. Because I can do that if I want to and no one can stop me.

One down. One to go.

Miss Elizabeth Bennett was not impressed. Come ON Lizzie! Purple is a GREAT color! Now to actually WASH the windows. Then I can accomplish cleaning off that nasty back porch, pulling the old flooring off, replacing it correctly with pressure treated decking, painting the decking, adding the porch posts and covers, painting that and THEN. Start on the front porch. After I paint the house. But before I re-do the floors in the living room.

I wish I kept booze in the house. I'd totally drink it.

Lovely

It is lovely that I can come here and spout anytime I care or need to.

I just met someone who knew you. Asked me if I were related. Totally random. But it was rather shocking since it sort of slapped me in the face, so to speak. It was my chance! I could tell them anything I wanted about you! I could vindicate myself from all that you did to me! Without any preamble, I simply answered, no. I'd never met anyone by your name. Now this might seem a little harsh or even nasty, but truth often is.

I have exactly 3 things to say about that.

I still get the creepies when I think about this.

Ooops. I forgot to think about you until your that person reminded me.

 Where I don't live any longer.

They say you know you have healed when you have the chance for revenge and you don't take it. Sometimes it just hits you. I AM FREE! Bwahahahahahaha!

I love my life.