A time to rejoice. I see the sun earlier than before. I look forward to being woken by sunlight streaming in my east facing bedroom window! I have missed being outside in the cool of a morning, laced with dew and the fresh feeling of the air on my skin. Darkness, even that in winter, is depressing.
Depression takes many forms. It is a mystery to me how people can say silly things like, “Just snap out of it!” As though it were really that easy? Do you think someone would choose to live like this? I think this form of debilitating illness is so misunderstood.
I took a shower tonight before retreating to my Princess bed that has yet to be painted. Something I thought I would do in the dark of winter, but it never happened. The painting, I mean. I shaved my leg and arm hair. Mostly because if you feel the wind in your leg hair as you walk, you KNOW it needs to be done. (TMI) Fortunately for me, jeans and not being married don’t require that I have to do that each shower.
Freedom.
I actually put lotion on too. I love the smell of Johnson and Johnson baby lotion. Coming out from the darkness has its advantages. Maybe I can make it through the night without tears.
I miss you, Maximoose. Sweet dreams.
No comments:
Post a Comment