Let it begin with me...

Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me....

From the United States of America....to its people and to the People of the world. Merry Christmas!

The Day After.....

December 26th. The day AFTER Christmas. Things change as you age and I have to tell you this.

THIS IS FREAKIN' GREAT!!!

No. Really. The day after Christmas when you are my age is actually great. I sat here this morning, looking at my Christmas tree and just enjoying the quiet and peace of the morning.

Not saying that when I had kids in the house it wasn't great, I am just saying that I love my life. Just the way that it is. Life is simply a bunch of seasons of activities and I am enjoying each stage. Even if you have to do that thing called "WORK". But I had to do that when I had kids too, so it really isn't a big deal. Especially when you really enjoy what you are doing for earning your bucks.

Today was my travel day to another city to see clients. Truly enjoy the drive, but today was wet and rainy and there were accidents on the roads. Most of them from idiot California drivers. I know, I know. I sound awful, but for the love of Pete's Dragon, slow the heck down! Especially if you are on a road that is not familiar AND it is raining. Raining HARD.

I enjoy traveling to other cities because the fact is, my little home town has no shopping to speak of. We have a WalMart. And we have a Maurices and a Big Lots. Whoppie! As I had a couple of clients cancel today (because after all it IS the day after Christmas), I spent a few happy hours perusing through one of my favorite stores, 'Tuesday Morning'. Really, really, REALLY like that store! Maybe because the inventory changes, but is always interesting and charming. If you can keep me out of the stationary section, I could probably finance my way to Tahiti. A couple of times. I don't know why I love cards and papers and journals so, but I do!  But today I went with a mission. Christmas ornaments would be 50% off and they have such lovely and unique choices. Usually Czech hand blown ornaments and lovely glass baubles that are dripping with swarovski crystals that sparkle like crazy when lights hit them.

You will be glad to know, I held myself to only purchasing TWO. One pale gold with crystals and bugle beads that form tiny stars and cover the surface and the other a lovely mercury glass silver embellished with pearls and crystals. I really love them both! AND I got a pink, velvet pillow with ivory braid that is beaded and embellished with rhinestones that says, "Merry & Bright. 

Love, love, LOVE it! Exactly matches my antique pink brocade sofa. And the best part? The entire haul cost a grand total of $15.71, with tax of course.

Such lovely items make shopping so much fun. I am already dreaming of next Christmas decorating season! 2020, I hope to be able to start collecting lights and do an actual light display. Thinking on a Disney theme....probably from Frozen because there is so much you can do with crystal and blue and purple.

Uuummmmmm......yeah. I shall think on that one. 

Sweet creativity. Or is that just being bored?

This year, I decided to hand make gifts. Mostly because with hay the price it is these days and seven horses, money isn't exactly thick on the ground. That and because I have an entire room full of unused material and crafting paraphernalia that has been sitting there for years just waiting for me to use it.

I find it a lot easier to sit and look at YouTube or Pinterest and oooooohhhh and aaaawwwww at collecting ideas rather than actually getting off my duff and DOING those ideas. That stopped this Christmas.

So aaaallll my girlfriends got Christmas decorations in the form of Gnomes. Yeah. I'll bet they are thrilled. But at least my crafting supplies have a tiny, little dent in them now.

I only took pictures of TWO that I made. Don't know why I didn't take more pictures because I made like SEVEN of these little creatures. But if you've seen one gnome, you've seen them all. Or at least...well....you know what I mean.

I made a couple of them without signs and put little bundles of fire wood or other cute little things in their hands. I did this while watching Avatar for the 700th time. I really LOVE my Disney+! And if I have a movie on I have seen a gazillion times, I don't actually have to watch it because listening to the dialogue, I know exactly what is happening on screen. Very convenient.

Anyways. That is it for my creativity this year. Now on to the next year, where I will again make some really cool resolutions that I will never follow through on.

I really like the age I am. I really like living alone. Because no one can tell me what to do and it really doesn't matter if I don't wear make up or color my hair. I am old. And I can do what I want. Like make silly gnomes and give them away.

Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve 2019

Sooooooo.........it is Christmas eve. I haven't posted anything for a while now. Life again gets busy and I have managed to catch every single illness coming home with these kiddos I am working with. Right now, I am so stuffy I can hardly breathe and am living on Alka Seltzer Cold and Flu.

Ick.

But it is still the eve of His birth. Or at least the day we celebrate His birth. Just random thoughts tonight. But He isn't a baby in a manger any longer. He isn't a dead man in a grave. He was born, grew up while living a sinless life. He was crucified, died on that cross, was buried in a rich mans' tomb. And on that 3rd day, He defeated death and Hades and sin and rose to live again.

He did that for YOU. Don't wait. Time is short. It will not be long before Jesus calls His true church home and then? Shits gonna hit the fan. Shits gonna get REAL real fast.

I don't want that for you. Please. Listen to Him calling your name. Trust in Him. Give Him your life and He will give life to you.

Your choice.

Life is crazy and sad. Just crazy and sad...

It is to be expected that when you are a caretaker of animals others have abandoned or don't want, you are going to experience a lot of loss in your lifetime. I think I knew that when I started, but being prepared for it mentally, emotionally and spiritually was something I did not think about. And let's not even begin to count the financial part of this equation.

Max is going down hill faster than I want to see. I mean, he is still the happy boy, but the between times are so difficult. Today, he fell off the back porch. This isn't the first time he has done this, but this time I saw it happen and was too far away to KEEP it from happening. And like the calm and stoic Maximoose he is, he took it in stride and didn't complain in the least.

The back porch is approximately 2 and 1/2 feet off the ground, so it is no easy fall for anyone, but an older dog, I KNOW it had to hurt. I ran to his side and checked him out for injuries, even as he was sitting there with that confused look on his face. No apparent injuries that could be seen, and I helped him to his feet. He followed me around all the time I was outside.

The dogs have their own room on the back of the house. Sort of a catch all mud room with lots of kennels and doggy beds. Max can't come into the house anymore because his sphincter muscles don't work as they used to and he drops poops when he walks. Even so, the room is heated and cooled and comfortable for those who have to wear fur coats year round. But I know he misses being inside. Lizzie stays out there with him at night, while Miss Scarlett and Buddy come in with me.

I know I have said this before, but I HATE death. I do. I know it is part of life and I know where you go when you leave this earth, but that does not make it easier for those left behind to grieve.

I take heart in the fact that the Bible tells us "not to grieve as those who have no hope" and I understand that those I have lost in death, I will see again. It is that before they leave time that is so devastating to me. I just wish I had the means, both financially and magically to make all of that go away and never happen at all.

It will soon be time to say goodbye to my sweet Maximoose. It isn't time yet, but the time is close and getting closer each day. I can see the difference in his physical condition. As for pain, I don't see the signs of it, other than when he does have a fall and I assist him, he sticks close to me for the rest of the day. But his eyes do not tell me that he hopes for release yet. I have seen that look too many times before in other animals eyes to mistake it. I will know when it is time. I hate that. I hate that for such sweet and loving souls, these guys have to hurt in any way, shape or form. He has been a pain in the ass and a blessing to my life in ways you cannot even imagine.

I am laughing now as I remember when I first got him and because he LOVED to go walk-about, I had to keep him inside that first week until I got the fences fixed so he wouldn't disappear. I came home from work, walked the dogs outside to do their business and when we all came back in, I began unloading the groceries. I brought in the paper products first and when I got back with another load of stuff, (just a minute or 2 at the most), there was toilet paper strung from one end of the living room all the way down the hallway. What. The. Heck?!?!

Or trying to keep Max contained in the dog area that was then the laundry room and the kitchen area. How many different configurations did I try with furniture, dog gates, kid gates, boxes and lumber to no avail?

What about the time I was making the final move from Colorado to Arizona and 5 days before we were to leave, Maximoose and Rhett went walk-about and only Rhett came back? How scary was that? I called every vet in town, called the Humane Society, the dog pound, the police station....EVERYONE I knew. I took Rhett and told him we were going to look for Max. Rhett took me straight to the highway and promptly sat down looking right and left, up and down that road. I knew then that someone had picked him up and we would likely never see him again. I was devastated! I called the vets and the Humane Society every day for any scrap of information I could get. But alas. No one had any to give me.

The day BEFORE we were to leave, who shows up on the front porch? Well wouldn't you know, it is Maximoose! With stickers and burrs in his coat, sore and raw paws, somehow he had made his way home to us again. I love that big mop of a dog. My heart will lose a large piece when he takes his leave to be with Rhett and the rest of my family.

But I will be left to finish my work here. In some ways I am glad that they will go first, so that I don't have to worry what will become of them. Or so says my mind. I wish someone would explain that to my heart.

In this horrid in-between time, I will carefully watch. Lavishly love. And never forgive myself for that which I will inevitably not be able to do.

I love you Maximoose.

Just about to LOSE it.

Had a pretty good day today. I mean, I made it through all the patients I had scheduled with only 2 cancelling, so all is good. Kids were great today, everyone doing well, I was happy and ate 7 layer bean dip and cheap tortilla chips on the way home. All in all a pretty good day.

Until I got on Facebook and started getting messages from an old SNF/Home Health patient I used to see.

This woman has been carrying on for the last few months about me coming to see her and I promised I would once I got back from Colorado. I got busy and didn't get over there. I missed answering a couple of her messages when things got so crazy here. So now she is freaking out. Sending me ultimatums with the words "FINE" in them.

I really don't like ultimatums. I also really don't like stress. And I REALLY don't like dealing with angry people. By the time I get home, feed all the animals, do whatever chores I have lined out to do that day, get inside and get cleaned up, eat something if I have enough energy to actually FIX something, I have pretty much had it.   Why is it so difficult to understand that I don't have a husband to do things for me? I don't have a family that does all my chores! I do those chores myself. I DO everything for me and my animals. I don't have help. I DO IT MYSELF. I am tired when I finally get done. I don't WANT to deal with anyone! I need to decompress.

All I want to do is sit and read a book. Or sit and watch a movie. Or even sit and veg on the computer, even Facebook. But that is difficult to do when you have someone who messages you with basic threats and pleadings and YES. I missed a couple of your messages and when you followed up with a threat...I just don't want to deal. I don't have anything to say that would make the situation better. I wasn't angry before, as a matter of fact, I was surprised when I got that message "forgiving me" for not answering the messages. This has escalated into something icky and I had no idea it was even going on. But now I am weary and getting irritated. Life is short. Cut the drama. LIVE your life and let me live mine. I am simply not that important that you need to see me whenever you want.

Bye Felicia.

Christmas 2019

I watched a gazillion videos on YouTube about "How to decorate a Christmas Tree". People changing colors and ornaments and Farmhouse this and Coastal that, different trees and buying things from Dollar Tree, buying things from Wal Mart and buying things from Hobby Lobby.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Hobby Lobby and shopping there is a delight, but these videos leave out a few important things. Individuality. And while there is a lot of creativity in these videos, they forget about continuity. Continuity and tradition. Namely YOUR traditions.

I got wrapped up in watching these and got a few things that I could use, but when I thought about changing colors or ornaments? That would be a Big. Fat. NO.

When I started collecting ornaments after those bad years where I lost everything, I chose colors that calmed and soothed and were my very favorites. I chose romantic story book ornaments, things that spoke to me of the dreams I had as a child because God knows, I needed to rethink the world into one I could live in and love. These things that I have collected are familiar but in the best sense of that word. There is nothing wrong with new and I add a couple of ornaments each year, usually showcase ornaments that speak to my heart, but I don't want to change from what I love and who I am.

So here is to all those who feel the need to change everything each season, to purchase more STUFF and to re-create your home and yourself.

I will continue my traditions with creative twists and a few well chosen treasures. Welcome to my world of "Elegant Whimsy".