When your heart is broken...

Feline panleukopenia.

Ever heard of it? Yeah. Me either. But it is out there. Waiting. Waiting...............



I love cats. It has been many years since I went out and found a kitten and brought it home to be my squishy.

Oh I have barn cats. And I love them dearly. But in the past 27 years, I have only had ONE house cat that I actually walked out of my home, saw someone giving away kittens, looked in that box and fell instantly in love, picked that kitten up and brought it home to be part of my family. The other cats just happened..........someone threw them out of a car as they passed my barn. Someone had cats they could not keep so would I take them? Cats from a horse show that someone was taking to the pound if they could not find a home. The cat that just shows up in your feed room and keeps coming back because he knows you will feed him and take care of him. You know. My favorite breed of cat.........a rescue cat.

I lost my Toto cat in 2005. I had to have her put down because she was old and sick and hurting. I used to fall asleep to the sound of her purring in my ear, because she felt it was her job to tuck me in and purr me to sleep. To this day? I MISS that kind of love. I MISS that kind of bond. And I haven't had the heart to go find someone, another kitten, to take up where Toto left off.

Until November 19th. And then it happened all over again.

I looked in that dirty cat carrier and there she was. A tiny little wee kitten. Hungry. Scared. Dirty. And in a cat carrier with 2 other kittens, one that was almost dead, laying on his side and not able to move, but gasping and another less active kitten. She was absolutely the most precious thing I have ever seen. And so I brought her home. I did NOT want her to end up like that poor little kitten on the floor of that carrier.

 

After food, water and a bath, (she cleaned up pretty well), I called the vet and made an appointment for her to go in and have her shots. I estimated her to be about 3 weeks old. WAY too young to be away from mama! It was decided to wait a couple of weeks because she was too young for shots.

 

In the meantime, my little family welcomed this wee one and loved her. She was precocious and lively! Sweeter than the day was long and my heart was soon captivated as she climbed up to sleep in my lap each time I sat in my evening chair.

 

 

She loved Maximoose best of all and when it came to curling up to take a comfortable nap, no place was as wonderful as Maximooses' fluffy hair!

 

 

 

Max took her for HIS kitten and loved her right back!

 

 

Everyone loved little Scooter...

 

Rhett and Scooter

 

Scarlett and Scooter

 

Scooter loved playing and wrestling with Scarlett and Rhett's toys and a neighbor gave her a toy her own size to wrestle with too....

 

 

It happened so quickly. One day, Scoots was wrestling and the next she began to have diarrhea...she couldn't make it to the potty box. I isolated her to the hall bathroom, where it was easiest to clean her and the mess up. I kept the other animals away. I thought that first day that maybe it was just the change in diet that had her little system upset, but in the next day, the diarrhea got worse and on the 3rd, it became bloody. Worms...parasites, is what I and the neighbor thought.

 

So off to the vet we went. By the time I got her to the vet, her condition had worsened to the point that I hardly recognized the kitten as my little playful one. She looked and acted just like that kitten in the bottom of that dirty animal carrier that first day. And I knew. I KNEW, but I did not know what.

 

Feline panleukopenia................. it is also called Feline infectious enteritis. In layman's terms? Otherwise known as kitty parvovirus.

 

Here is what I know now.

 

It is FAST. It happens so quickly, that it is stunning and paralyzing in its quickness. Once contracted, it is highly contagious and can be fatal to the affected cat, or kitten, as the case may be.

 

The virus primarily attacks the lining of the gastrointestinal tract, causing internal and, ultimately, total sloughing of the intestinal epithelium. This results in profuse and usually bloody diarrhea, severe dehydration, malnutrition, anemia, and most often, death.

 

It causes a decrease in the cat's white blood cells, thus compromising its immune system. This predisposes them to secondary infections, especially bacterial and fungal, though secondary viral infections also occur with some frequency.

 

And my little Scooter had it. The prognosis was even worse.

 

Of affected kittens that are two months or less of age, 95% die regardless of treatment. Even WITH aggressive treatment that would include IV fluids for dehydration and antibiotics, she had only a 5% chance of survival. As Scooter's body temperature continued to drop, she could not stand up unsupported and clung to me, cuddling and seeking reassurance. Her chances were, as my vet told me, slim to none.

 

I HATE that. I HATE THAT!!! It isn't right! It isn't fair! She doesn't deserve this! And as I held her in my arms, she was hurting and fading, unable to hold her tiny head up, leaning on me for support.

 

And why?

 

Because some IDIOT didn't vaccinate or spay their female cat? Because even if this kitten didn't have it from her mother, he put her in the carrier with an affected kitten? WHY SCOOTER? Why the little one that we all loved?

 

Sometimes there are not answers. Simply hard decisions.

 

Our home is so quiet tonight. I have spent the last 24 hours, crying and cursing in turn, going through all the 'what ifs' and 'maybe if I had done THIS'.........

 

but the truth is, I and my family have been so blessed by this little one coming into our lives. And it occurred to me, as I questioned in my prayers last night, WHY.............for what reason did this happen?

 

But what would have happened to her, had I not taken her home?

 

 

Scooter was with us for such a short time, but in that time, she was fed. She was clean. She was warm and had toys and friends and most of all? SHE WAS LOVED. She had a family that adored her. She left this world, knowing that she was loved beyond anything she had ever known in those first 3 weeks of life.

 

Our lives and our hearts, although bereft just now, hold a treasure chest of memories of a tiny, wee, little kitten that totally captivated our hearts. And for that I am, and will always be, grateful. I am glad that I could be there for her, that I could hold her as she passed over and to assure her that she was not alone.

 

I miss her. There is a huge hole where my heart used to be.



 











Enjoying the unexpected beauty of a REAL Christmas tree

I have not shared all the photos of my tree, which although turned out way different than what I was intending, came out beautiful just the same!

In the beginning....

 

Added the Christmas star and waiting for the boughs to relax

 

Adding the ribbon and picks to hide the huge holes that have developed now that the boughs relaxed!

 

Once the tree settled and the boughs relaxed, I had MAJOR holes in the shape! So I made these funky Christmas Tree picks, along with huge bows of purple and gold to fill them in. Sort of like Dr Suess meets Queen Victoria!

 

 

Pink, purple and gold is what I chose. But I always add little white dove that I totally adore!

 

A pair of Christmas Angels, (paper ornament), along with a vintage Mr. Christmas stenciled ball.

 

White dove with a Tiny Tim Cratchet in the foreground. I bought 3 tiny boxes of Thomas Pacconi 2004 collector ornaments from EBay. I got 'A Christmas Carol', 'The Night Before Christmas' and 'The Nutcracker Suite'. I love them all, they are hand painted and simply adorable!

 

White dove and a lovely crystal snowflake

 

I love the burnished gold ribbon paired with hot pink and purple. The ribbon picks up the pinks incredibly!

 

One simply cannot have a tree without a cherub singing praises to the Lord Jesus!

 

Who needs Silver Bells when you can opt to have HOT Pink Bells?

 

I love how the crystal snowflake picks up whatever color it is next to!

 

White dove on a frosted branch...

 

A little brush from an Angels' wings...

 

Paper ornaments are always a favorite of mine...so Victorian.

 

Ornaments on but no tree skirt yet........ :0(

 

TADA! Finito! A little whimsy, a little Victoriana, and LOTS of ribbon and Christmas tree picks!

 

I love my tree, even if it was not what I had originally decided to do. Sometimes you just have to go where your heart is leading you and when you see something that you love, GET IT and USE IT. It comes out even better than you thought it would. This tree is totally ME.

 

I am not sure I will be doing a live Christmas tree next year. I love the scent, but this watering it every morning and every evening? Totally too much trouble!

 

Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Reflections

The Christmas Tree is finally finished. The rest of the house is merry with the accoutrements of the most beloved season, and the outside decorations are twinkling away merrily.



It is time for a hot cup of peppermint tea, liberally laced with caramel syrup, while grabbing a seat in the overstuffed chair and a penny for your thoughts.

I love the Christmas season! Its' hustle and bustle and rare quiet moments are like a balm to my aching heart. At times like these, when the barn settles and the house quiets, I know the Lords' love as I know it in no other time.

This year, as in years past, as I contemplate the birth of my Savior born long ago, it is Mary that I think of. The trip she endured when so heavy with child and on the back of a burro, at that!

 

Trust me when I say, burros are not an easy riding animal. Don't ask how I know, but the road was long and hard and I have been pregnant and felt that burden........I cannot even imagine what she had to endure. But still I wonder. How did she feel? To be chosen for such a time as this?

 

So many songs have been written as of late, about what she was thinking, what she felt at the birth of the most important Child in history. In my opinion, although lovely, most of those songs fall short of, not just the hardship, but the wonder of what she faced. Except this one.

 

I share it with you now. In hopes that you may truly begin to see Christmas through the eyes of wonder and love.

 

Merry Christmas, my friend.

 





Vignettes from my Christmas tree

I just received the last of the ordered and much anticipated Christmas ornaments for this year!

I have not finished decorating the tree, but so far I absolutely LOVE everything that I have gotten. It will need tweaking throughout the coming years, but I think it is a great start.

Odd how we begin thinking we want one thing and end up with something entirely different. For this year anyways. Next year? The sky and my imagination are the only limits...

 

 

 

I cannot wait until I finish the tree and the house decorations! A WHOLE month to enjoy! Yayness!!

 

Merry Christmas my friend!



Christmas decorating on a dime.

Okay. The title should really be 'Christmas Decorating on a Dollar'.

Because it seems that some of the best décor this year is coming from that infamous store, 'The Dollar Tree'.

I have always had white dove on my Christmas tree and I wanted the same this year, but the ones I was finding in the big stores were way too expensive for my small budget! Sooooooo as the saying goes....... necessity is the mother of invention! And so it was today.

I love dove. I think they are the most wonderful and loving birds I have ever known. I don't say that flippantly, but as the voice of experience. I have had the most wonderful pet, a ringneck dove, by the name of Noah, for the past 16 years.

 

Noah the Ringneck Dove

 

Noah came to live with me in 1998, where I found him at a pet store in a cage all by himself. This lone dove in this lone cage was sitting right next to a HUGE cage filled with other dove. Apparently, Noah had a problem getting along with other dove. Not that he is mean, he just pesters everyone a  lot, bowing and cooing. Eventually, they would get irritated and beat the tar out of this poor little guy. So I brought him home with me. I had NO idea dove lived so long, but here he is...still going strong after all these years. He is such a joy! Always happy, always wanting to snuggle in my hair and always waking me with that lovely cooing each morning. So yeah. Dove are incredible and I want them on my tree. Sans poo however, so artificial Noah's are needed.

 

I would also like them without the high price tag, so this is where Dollar Tree comes in.

 

I found all these dove, white, (unlike Noah), but really plain, other than their pink beaks and that would totally go with my pink, gold and purple theme!

 

 

So I bought them, 2 for a buck, and brought them home. Then I got to work! A little spray Mod Podge, a bottle of iridescent glitter, both of which I already had on hand. Because as we all know, every crafter worth her salt has these essentials on hand.......

 

 

I bought 7 cards, (God's perfect number!), which gives me a total of 14 dove. I loved the way their heads are posed...some of them remind me of Noah and his quizzical looks he gives me when he is trying to be cute!

whatca doin' ma?

 

A little spray of Mod Podge, a little shake of glitter and TADA!

 

Sparkly Dove!

 

I don't think you can really get the gist of how good these guys really look, but with the addition of glitter, they took on the look of spun cotton ornaments of old. I really like them and SUCH a simple fix!

 

 

I love glitter. Noah would look GREAT in glitter! Do not think he would stand still for that though...

 

Next, I plugged in the tree lights that I found in the box from Colorado that was sent to me. Add "get lights for the tree" on the list of to do's! These ones don't work. :0( So lights did not get put on the tree tonight!

 

The boughs of my little tree are falling and settling into a more natural position after having been bound for the trip to the Christmas tree market, and although I am seeing some major holes appear, I still think my REAL, fresh cut Christmas tree is beautiful. (Especially with the lovely scent wafting through my home!)

 

In lieu of lights, I decided that I would at least SEE if what I came up with for flocking would work..... Most of the tutorials I found on Pinterest involved soap flakes, water and shaving cream.(scary!) I didn't want to do that, one, because of the extreme mess, but two, it wasn't the look I wanted! I wanted something that actually LOOKED like snow, not some white snot that hardens to cement after it sets. And the tree flock I am finding is way too much if you are buying multiple cans! What to do?

 

You guessed it. The Dollar Tree again. I got 5 cans of tree flock for $5.00. Sorry, but you cannot beat that!

 

 

 I also got some Buffalo Snow. You know...the sparkly kind! For? A buck each of course!

 

 

 

So for  a total of $8.00 I got all this. Enough to frost all the tips of my Christmas tree and then some!

 

 

 

Unfortunately, I could only do one tip to see how it works, because if I do it prior to the application of lights, most of it would be on my clothing! Unless this stuff sets up in the night that is. I hope it doesn't mess with the scent of the tree! That would not be good!

 

 

So I sprayed a little flock and then, while it was still wet, I threw on a handful of the Buffalo Snow. It stuck! Yayness! Not only that, it LOOKED real! Just a tad of sparkle and no blobs!

 

 

I need a different camera. Or a photography class. I wish you could see the sparkles in this, because it looks GREAT in person! Cannot wait to get the lights tomorrow!

 

I know. Exciting day.  Hohum.

 

Merry Christmas!

 

 





Yayness! My first REAL Christmas Tree!!!

Yayness! I picked out my very first REAL, fresh cut Christmas tree today!

Well. Okay. I have had a REAL Christmas tree before, but not on my own. This year, because I thought I would do something special and a little bit different, I got a REAL, fresh cut Christmas tree. I have had an artificial Christmas tree for ever so long, but the one I had most recently, remains in Colorado, while I am here in Arizona.

 

I went to Tractor Supply today and they had their Christmas trees, Frasier Firs, at the price of $24.99 for a 6 to 8 foot tree! They also had Christmas tree stands on sale. I was going to wait until after the 10th of December, but at those prices? There is also the fact that although they are spraying these cut trees with water several times throughout the day, it won't be long before they are simply dry kindling.

 

Better to get mine now and get it into water.

 

I did not take any photos of my setting it up, as much as you would have laughed your pants off at my antics. It is difficult to work a camera when you are engulfed in fir limbs. I am sure I looked like a walking tree. I know my new little kitten, Scooter, saw me carrying the tree and high-tailed it to her favorite chair where I keep my outside vest and hat, to hide!

 

 

Being the good little doo-bee that I am, I actually found my bow saw and sawed off a good 6 inches off the bottom of the tree. Because that is what the directions I found on the internet said to do. I also wanted to make sure the tree fit in the house without hitting the ceiling. It would have hit the ceiling, had I not done that!

 

I remember my Daddy always choosing a tree that was WAY too big for our house and having to cut more off the bottom or the top so we could get it into the house. I guess I must have inherited that from him...

 

 

Like all trees at the Christmas tree lots, this one has its' flaws, but I think she is beautiful! (Even if the toppy thingy is a tad crooked!) I was expecting that I would have trouble leveling the tree and would have a leaning tower of Pisa tree, but I guess I must have cut extremely straight, because I plopped that tree in the holder, tightened up those little screwy thingys and TADA!

 

A STRAIGHT tree!

 

I mixed the Christmas Tree fresh stuff with water and watered the tree. Actually I over watered it and water started coming out the bottom holes where the screw holders are. Who knew? I never even thought about it. I haven't gotten any water on the carpet yet, but I have mopped up the excess several times, in the extra well they built in this tree stand for just such an occasion. Smart tree stand builders!

 

Daddy always said that you should let the tree 'settle and fall into place' for a day or two, as did the internet directions. And so I shall do that. With one exception.

 

My Christmas Star arrived today! Yayness! I was a tad disappointed because two of the crystals were broken! Of course one could glue them back into place if one had any crazy glue on hand, but alas! All I have is a hot glue gun. (It didn't work well.) So when I come home from work, I will stop at the mart and grab some crazy glue. But even though it was broken, I still put it on the tree because I was SO excited!

 

The two broken crystals are on the either side, but with all the shards, you can hardly tell! I am still crazy gluing them though.

 

I had to plug it in and found that all I have on hand are white extension cords...one more thing to get from the mart tomorrow ! GREEN extension cords! But WOW! I am in love with my Christmas Star!

 

I cannot wait until the rest of my ornaments arrive and I can decorate my REAL, fresh cut Christmas tree! I am still awaiting 3 boxes of ornaments from EBay. I hope they arrive soon, but even if they do, I shall wait for the weekend. I have to decide on ribbon or garland yet, and string the lights on the tree before decorating begins.

 

I have missed decorating for Christmas in big time fashion this past 2 years. I had forgotten just how much I enjoy it and what joy it brings my heart to do this! I also had forgotten one other thing about a fresh cut Christmas tree.

 

The scent!

 

How ABSOLUTELY heavenly!

 

Merry Christmas!









 



 

 



 









Who is in control here???

This is a heck of a way to start a Monday morning, much less the first week of the Christmas season, but if I don't write my thoughts down now, by the time I get home from work, I will have lost them.

Human minds are so frail. How quickly we forget the prayers He places on our hearts when faced with the problems of a work day. So here it is...

My heart is troubled this morn. I get up to my daily devotions and then to check FB and EBay and all of the other really NOT important computer stuff that is my habit and these headlines are what I find...

Muslim Convert Cuts Oklahoma Woman to Pieces BEFORE Beheading
http://viral.buzz/workplace-violence-or-isis-terrorist-sympathizer-woman-cut-to-pieces-before-beheading/

Four Men in Two Cities Killed in Acts of Islamic Jihad; Media, Obama, and Holder Silent
http://www.tpnn.com/2014/09/12/four-men-in-two-cities-killed-in-acts-of-islamic-jihad-media-obama-and-holder-silent/

It is well that I go to the Bible and hear what God has to say BEFORE I hit the headlines that are vying for my attention. Were it the other way around, I would not be prepared to meet the day ahead. I would be at a point where I don't even want to walk out of my little home into the world! So today, I am going to share what God placed in my hands and my heart and my mind. The following is from my supplemental reading on the Word and is from one of my favorite prophetic teachers, Kay Arthur from her book '365 Appointments with God"

"Is your spirit troubled not only at the blindness of people today, but at all that is going on in our world? When my spirit is troubled, I think of the book of Habakkuk, an incredibly appropriate book for our times.

The prophet Habakkuk was frustrated. He saw the deep sin within his nation-----violence, iniquity, destruction, strife and contention. The law was ignored. Justice was never upheld. The wicked surrounded the righteous.

What was Habakkuk's recourse? And what is ours in a society that looks much the same as his?

It is God.

We lay our questions, frustrations, anxieties, and impotence at His feet and wait for His answer. Gad assured Habakkuk that the ungodly would not go unpunished forever (2:16). Judgment will come."

The prayer that follows in the pages of this short devotional reminder, is one that is an echo of my own heartfelt cry...

"Lord God, You are the everlasting Sovereign Ruler of all the universe, the Creator of heaven and earth, the One Who sits on the throne. The wisdom and cleverness of man has failed. Man's impotence is obvious, Your judgment is sure.

I rest in the firm belief that You are God-----immutable, eternal. Everything is under Your control."

                                                                                       Copyright 1999 by Kay Arthur

I don't always understand why bad things happen. I really dislike that. I want to understand the big picture. My life is such a vapor, so small a speck in the continuum of eternity, but He always assures me that I matter and He cares that I have that which I need to face my day.

I hope this helps you to face yours, knowing that God is with you. And He always will be.