Behavioral Disorders???

This is a difficult blog to write. In reality, I am writing this for my own benefit.....to help me understand and most importantly.....to remind me to forgive.

Jesus is very clear in His commandments. We are to forgive others. It is not an option, it is a command. (Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.....)



But there are times that we are ALL human and times when forgiving someone for the wrong they have done to us seems impossible. But is that really true?

It is easy to bury things. Deep inside where no one else sees and where you do not have to deal with it. But it is there and every once in a while, something will happen, a situation at work or watching a scene in a store, and BAM! There it is. Right smack dab in front of you and you realize that you need to forgive that person all over again.

But that is okay. Jesus loves me with a never ending love. I am precious in His sight. He sacrificed Himself, so that I could have eternal forgiveness. A fact that I do not take lightly. If He said to forgive others as we have been forgiven, I have a huge responsibility to do exactly that.  Forgive and forget? Easier said than done! There are days where I find I have to forgive on a moment to moment basis.

Today at work, I had a most difficult patient. Someone who is dealing with things that are overwhelming and mentally, they are not able to process and because of that, they are making poor choices in coping strategies. My heart goes out to this person. Life is never easy. But it brought to mind another that I have known and chose to remove from my life. Some people, if you allow them, will destroy you. Sometimes, you have to heed that still small voice that tells you to get out and save yourself.

Research tonight.....because I cannot sleep for want of answers. Answers that may never come, but education helps to clarify.....SOMETIMES, IT REALLY ISN'T YOUR FAULT.

Here is what I found.
 
1.    " Antisocial personality disorder is a type of chronic mental condition in which a person's ways of thinking, perceiving situations and relating to others are dysfunctional — and destructive. People with antisocial personality disorder typically have no regard for right and wrong and often disregard the rights, wishes and feelings of others.

Those with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others either harshly or with callous indifference. They may often violate the law, landing in frequent trouble, yet they show no guilt or remorse. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. These characteristics typically make people with antisocial personality disorder unable to fulfill responsibilities related to family, work or school. "

Interesting, but although this was true to some degree, there was more lurking and so I found this.....

2. Characteristics of Sociopathic Liars   (http://www.ehow.com/list_6026088_characteristics-sociopathic-liars.html/

"A sociopath is a person who has no conscience but has effectively learned how to manage his way through a life where few people can detect that they are different than him. Sociopaths are often charming and likable, but they can be frightening in their tactics, such as lying, to get what they want when they want it.

A sociopath more often than not has the rest of society fooled with his brash and coldhearted ability to have no remorse or guilt--no matter who the person he is affecting is--and to have no care about the well-being of others. A sociopath has no conscience and, therefore, has a make-believe step-by-step scenario life of doing whatever she wants and covering it up with a false sense of sincerity by masking that anything about her (and her psychological makeup) may be different than you.

A sociopath's job is to get as much thrill out of his victim as he can, but not get caught. They manipulate, cheat, lie and color situations for no purpose but to get some satisfaction out of the fact that they can bring another person down, and easily. To someone who has no conscience, it is easy to tell a little white lie about a co-worker, to manipulate a lover and make them feel inferior, or to make promises to get people on her side, only to find that those promises were false. This is all easy to do because the person has nothing within him telling him that it is morally wrong."

WOW. Getting a LOT closer!

3. Compulsive Pathological Lying  (http://datingasociopath.com/sociopath-character-traits/compulsive-lying/sociopath-is-a-pathological-liar/)

"All sociopaths lie. Most people tell the odd white lie. You might lie about why you are late for work to your boss. You might embellish the truth sometimes. You might lie to save somebody else’s feelings and to not hurt them.
The sociopath is in another category of lying. The sociopath is a compulsive, pathological liar. The sociopath lies about EVERYTHING. In fact, the sociopath lies more often than they tell the truth. They find it easier to lie, than they do to be honest.
Sociopaths lie for the following reasons

• For protection – to create a false persona of who they really are
• So that you do not find out about them and their past
• So that they can manipulate and deceive you, for their own gain
• To be in control
• To lure you into a false sense of security, so that you become addicted to them
• Telling you all that you want to hear
• They don’t care about you or your feelings, winning and being in control, is the most important thing
• They suffer from boredom easily
• To gain sympathy and play victim
• They find it easier to lie than to tell the truth
• The sociopath feels safer behind the lie. The lie is the sociopaths friend and is the sociopaths mask of protection

Sociopaths lie to deceive, manipulate and to get what they want. They lie to obtain things from people by deception. Their lies can be outrageous. It is true that the more outrageous the lie, the more likely it is that it will be believed.  At the end, when the truth comes out, the victim is left spinning, and absolutely confused.
The sociopath will start lying from day one. You, to the sociopath are a target. The sociopath is the predator. The sociopath will assess you to see if you have what they want. If you do, they will mirror you, to be the person that you are looking to find, to build false trust, so that you will allow them close."

I have never been one to believe in Psychology. I have always believed that it relieves people of their responsibility of what they are and the choices they have made. I have heard over and over again the excuses, "I am this way because I was mistreated or abused as a child!" "It was my Dad's fault!" "It was my Mom's fault!"



We all have had difficulties in life. My own childhood had things I can misconstrue to the world as being abusive, but you know what? My mom did the best she could with what knowledge she had and what she had on hand. My choices, good or bad, are still my own and not the result of anything that has happened to me. We ARE who we choose to be!

.I STILL believe that, but finding all of the above, allows me to know that I am not the only one who has dealt or is dealing with someone of this nature. So what will be my response to someone who is choosing to behave in this fashion?

Shall I hide? Stop living? Stop fulfilling the purpose God placed in my heart? Shall I fight? Yell and scream and write nasty and untrue things about them in my blogs?

MAY IT NEVER BE!  

I shall forgive. Again and again, if I have to. And I shall pray. I will pray for you until I have no breath left in my body. I will pray that at sometime, somehow Jesus will grab your heart and save you from the destruction you are creating. I don't care how He does it, the means are totally up to Him, but I pray with all my heart and soul, that you will bow to Him and be healed.