34 years ago. THIRTY FOUR YEARS AGO...the 29th of October fell on a Wednesday. I know it sounds like a silly thing to remember, but that little fact brought back a flood of wonderful memories and feelings. You see, 34 years ago I was married, I was expecting my first baby.
We were living in a tiny house. 2 bedrooms and it wasn't in the nicest of neighborhoods. I had stopped working outside the home and had begun a small childcare business so that I would be home to raise my little one. I remember being so uncomfortable. I could not lay down for any length of time, my back hurt so bad! I thought I had developed a kidney infection, but in reality, it was back labor...contractions that I was feeling in my back. At the time, I had not even known that "back labor" existed.
Friday, October 31, 1980, I had the regular children, all 6 of them and we had been working on jack-o-lanterns and decorations all week long in anticipation of a promised Halloween party that day. I know I have photos of little Christopher running the egg race with his little thumb doing the no-no of holding that egg in the spoon...somewhere in a box of old photos that have somehow never made it to an album or scrapbook. Jeanine in her witch outfit, Jonathon in his Lone Ranger outfit...they are all in there and I can see them as clearly today as I did that day.
The party was so much fun! The kids had a blast and when they were all finally picked up and shuttled home by parents, I was beat! I remember that my husband came home from work on time that day and found me laying on the bed, simply not able to get comfortable and just absolutely tired. He answered the door a million and one times, handing out candy and in-between trick-or-treaters checking on me. I did not sleep well that night. Every time I dozed off, my back started hurting and the only way to relieve the pain was to sit up. I. Was. Exhausted!
The next day, November 1, my parents arrived from out of town. My Daddy had made my little one a cradle from an old oak wine barrel and had entered it into the State Fair and it had taken the "Best of Show" and "Grand Champion" ribbons, along with a first place. We would not be able to remove the cradle for another week, but that was okay, as the baby was not due until way later in the month. So off to the Fair we all went. Grandpa, Grandma, my hubby and myself.
THAT was a BIG fair. We must have walked a million miles and for the life of me, I had to keep stopping and resting. Totally a pain in the neck because I was holding up the gang from seeing everything! After the Fair, we went home and we graciously gave my parents our bed and we slept in a SINGLE BED in the other bedroom. I remember praying that night flippantly..."Well God. If I am going to have this baby anytime soon, I REALLY need to get some sleep!"
Oddly enough? I slept like a baby. All night long. In a single bed. With my husband. How? I have NO earthly idea.
In the morning, Mom and Daddy were packing up the car and I told Mom..."I sure wish you would stay. I think I am going to have this baby today." We laughed and off they drove to their home
All over. No warning. Just EVERYWHERE. Gushing out and making a really BIG mess. I called out to my husband and reached for the phone and dialed the doctor. I was alarmed, but not scared. We hadn't even had but one Lamaze class so THIS was really inconvenient!
The doctor gasped and told me to get to the hospital IMMEDIATELY. And we would have, but, we had no health insurance and had been paying the hospital a sum each month so we would have the birth paid for prior to the little one's arrival. We still owed money! My husband was in a tizzy, so my mother-in-law came over to drive us to the hospital. We stopped at the ATM on the way up and got what cash we could from there and off to the hospital we went! When we got there, they were waiting with a wheel chair and they whisked me away, while my husband filled out paper work.
He eventually showed up in the labor room. We couldn't even let my parents, who were still on the road, know that I had started labor. This was WAY before cell phones! The nurses kept coming in and checking me and giving us updates. Somewhere in that time, my mother-in-law was able to reach my parents and let them know and somewhere around 3:30 the nurse came and told us..."Oh it is going to be a while yet!" and off she went!
5 minutes later I told my husband to get the nurse and it was so funny because he said..."She JUST checked you...she SAID it would be a while yet!", but get her he did because I insisted. The nurse came, peeked under the sheet and gasped! Ran out of the room, ran back INTO the room with another nurse and started wheeling me into the Delivery room. Doc Epstein was already there and asked if he had time to wash his hands...."IF YOU HURRY" was the reply.
My son, Joshua, was born at 3:54 pm on November 2, 1980. I thought he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. When they took him from me to put him in an oxygen tent because of complications, I felt cheated and empty, bereft...I had him with me for so long! I did not want to be without him!
I eventually got to see him about 6 hours later, when they brought him to me for feeding. He was so tiny! 5 pounds, 6 ounces...red and wrinkly...he resembled a little troll, and absolutely the most precious thing I have ever known.
I have never forgotten those feelings of that day and holding him for the first time. I had never known love like that before and have never loved like that ever again. A son will always, for all time, hold his mother's heart in a way he will never understand.
I named him Joshua. Because that is my favorite character in the Bible. I remember as a teen, reading about Moses death and God speaking to #Joshua as he stood on that mountain and looked into the promised land. I cannot even imagine his fear. His leader was dead and he was being asked to accomplish this monumental task of leading these whiney, bratty, ungrateful people into the promise of God the Father. How would he ever accomplish this? And do you know what God told him?
"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
I wanted that for my little man. I wanted him to have the courage of Joshua...to have the faith of Joshua and to be a mighty warrior like Joshua. I wanted him to have the blessing and favor of the Almighty Creator. And to this day, I pray that it will be so.
I love my son. Regardless of what has happened in his life, things that have separated us, miles and other situations that keep us apart. I LOVE MY SON and I shall never, ever stop praying for him.
So many memories.....
